I could go on and on about religion. I'll just try and keep it short by explaining certain things that bug me. First I'll just let the readers in on a little back story.
I sort of still believe in Christianity but very loosely to the point where it may not agree with a lot of things. I used to be very religious as a tween and surprisingly my life was a lot better in those years. I relied on the "karma" system and believed that I was being a very awesome individual. Along my teen years I got a little rebellious and pretty much dropped it all because I wanted to have a little more "fun". I couldn't have fun if I was a loyal Christian (if you know what I mean). At the moment where I'm typing this blog entry out, keep in mind that it may be related to other religions but I'll mostly be keeping Christianity in mind.
The very first thing that bugs me about religion is a very simple thing called LOGIC. If you think about it really hard, MILLIONS of people follow a certain religion because it says so in the scripture. But before all of that, if you think about it, the idea of religion in the first place is quite ridiculously sad. You have an Almighty Being that rules the entire Universe and sets out rules for his people, yet he doesn't show Himself. He expects His followers to be loyal and "Love Thy Neighbour" yet it causes them to do the opposite. (Yes, I'm pointing my finger at you, extremists).
I'll make a scenario. I have the power to breathe life into a heap of dust and form it in my image, make an entire Universe for them to dwell in (a fraction of it though) and I also make them the most intelligent animals in the planet giving them the ability to build great civilizations, discover the components (up to its molecular composition) that make up the universe BUT I don't confirm that I exist making the possibility that someone who is logical (someone I created by the way) will be a rebel and go against my teachings. A person that is not evil but just logical, is possibly going to suffer in the fiery pits of Hell for eternity because he was thinking outside the box and questioning the way the Universe works.
This does not make sense to me.
What is the explanation for the poor dying people in corrupt nations that have children dying from starvation every day? How about the good people who grew up in another religion? Will they not be given a chance? What is up with the unclear messages in the scriptures?
As a loosely believing Christian I demand that the great being that I wish to worship, leaves His throne and answers all these questions immediately. I honestly want to believe. There was a point in my life where following the "rules" made me a better and cheerful person. Before all the so-called sinful deeds that I regularly engaged in, I was happy and I felt fulfilled. After that the academic side of my life started to going downhill. I want to believe and know that the reason I'm going downhill is because of rejecting my religion. But I refuse to go back to the way everything was because, as a logical person, I want answers.
I honestly want to believe.